Faerie’s Journey #1: Unethical Married Man

The journey here has been quite long and very fun. As with any journey worth the name, I didn’t know where I was going when I set off. I had no idea that, 11 years down the road, I’d be running a venue called Sacred Pleasures – a place where sex-positive people explore the union of healing, pleasure, BDSM and spirituality. I couldn’t have imagined that I’d be leading a kinky community called After Pandora, where some of the most intelligent, playful, creative and sexy people I know come together to play and to belong to something beautiful. And I couldn’t possibly have guessed that my business cards would read London Faerie – Magical Artist, Ethical Pervert.

The journey began – as they often do – with discontent. It was the year 2000 and I was married to S____, a delightful Japanese nurse. Though we thought the world of each other, it was a relationship that didn’t fit me. On the surface everything was fine: lovely flat, good jobs, great friends, adequate sex life. But most nights I stayed up after she’d gone to bed, cruising the Internet for intense cybersex experiences: BDSM, group sex and more.

At the time I was working in an office overlooking Piccadilly Circus, and I often wandered the backstreets of Soho in my lunch hour. I found myself drawn again and again to the fetish shops – Paradiso and Slinky’s in particular – though for a long time I wouldn’t dare to go inside. These places were weird and scary to me, racks of latex clothes side by side with whips and chains and collars and cuffs. They held an allure I could neither explain nor resist.

In the end I made it through the door and rushed for the magazine rack. Reading was much safer than speaking, so I grabbed a copy of Skin Two, bought it hastily and left.

A week or two later, having read the magazine from cover to cover, I showed it to S____. The response wasn’t as bad as I thought – she seemed a little curious and no more scared of it than I was – and a few weeks later we decided to try Club Rub.

Over the months that followed we dipped our toes into the fetish scene – Club Rub and Torture Garden mainly – and made a few friends. A cute young Japanese girl is hot property on the scene: our new acquaintances were much more interested in her than me.

We also began exploring kink at home – cheap nasty handcuffs from Ann Summers to begin with, graduating to beautiful lingerie and hosiery from Agent Provocateur. We had enough fetishes in common for it to be an enjoyable fun exploration for both of us, and for a while it looked like it might be just what our marriage needed.

But for me the clubs were frustrating, because we hadn’t agreed we could play outside the relationship, and I was hungry to explore. At that time I had only slept with 4 women. S_____ was my first love and I had decided after meeting her that I couldn’t do any better. What’s more, my family thought she was the bee’s knees and through her I obtained their approval for the first time.

But deep inside there was a huge wellspring of unfulfilled desires, and it was starting to bubble up and make a mess of everything in my so-called life.

I cheated many times – often right under her nose, sometimes in plain site of her. There were many arguments and plenty of tears. We did therapy together. After a year or so we agreed that we could play with other people “from the waist up” – a big concession for her that was deeply frustrating for me.

Three evenings from this period particularly come to mind. The first was sometime in 2001. S____ was on a night shift and I schemed to go to a fetish club without telling her. It was a chance for me to do things I wasn’t allowed to do.

It was a horrendous night, because by that stage I knew a few people on the scene, so I spent most of the time hiding from them to ensure the news didn’t get to S_____. I did spend some time in a corner, fingering a very large swinger who barely noticed, but most of the evening was spent ducking out of sight.

The second was early in 2002. My friend D______ was over from the US, and she wanted to go clubbing. S_____ was working a night shift again that night, so D_____ and I went to Club Rub without her. In the cab there I told D_____ that she was responsible for making sure I observed the “rules”.

In hindsight this was a deeply inappropriate request. D_____ told me afterwards that she wasn’t cool with the request, but on the night she did (literally) keep me on a tight leash. But she was a cute young single woman and inevitably she found someone hot to play with later on. Before leaving me she handed my leash to a dominant Goddess, and off she went.

The Goddess made me drop to my knees and I began to worship Her boots. This was a huge turn-on and it was within the rules. Soon a couple of other guys had come to worship Her, and I began to work my way up Her legs, kissing and licking Her thighs. She spread Her legs to allow me access, but stopped my hand when it went near Her knickers.

She had about 5 guys around her now and the sexual energy was intense. She was wanking one of them off and I moved myself around to be near Her free hand. I took my cock out and started to stroke it, and before long She took over. With consummate skill and total dominance She wanked me and another guy off while kissing a third guy and having Her boots worshipped by a fourth. I was hugely aroused by the situation and Her expert ministrations, and it didn’t take me long to come – all over Her legs and boots. Then I quickly left the scene of the crime, before D_____ discovered my indiscretion.

The second evening was Torture Garden’s Birthday Ball, May 2002. By this stage S____ and I had a small reputation among our friends as “the kinky ones” (though in truth we were still newbies ourselves), and on this night we took a beautiful friend T______ out to party with us.

Early in the night I spotted the Goddess I’d played with a few weeks before, and I asked Her if she’d flog me. When she said yes I explained guiltily that my wife was with me this time, and that I wasn’t allowed any genital contact. She said this was fine and proceeded to give me an almighty whipping with my (then brand new) Quality Control flogger. When it was over S_____ and T______’s mouths were agape: apparently it had been hardcore. I was as high as a kite, and happy to have done something new and sexy with total approval from my wife.

Later in the evening we ran into the Goddess, who offered to play with me again. This time I sat in a chair and stroked my cock while She flogged my chest. After a while She moved the flogger to my cock, caressing me with the soft leather as I stroked myself, until I came right in the middle of the dungeon.

When we got home S____ told me I was a very naughty boy, but she was OK with what had happened and we had some of the best sex of our marriage that night. For a brief moment it all seemed to be working.

Faerie will be sharing aspects of his journey and his practice at Your Kinky Cherry on Weds 7th Sept. Find out more >>