Osho Leela Tantra Festival Aug-11 Anna Winstanley (part 2)

Tantra is very sympathetic to aging issues, as it sees the beauty within individuals and operates on the Universal-Love principle. It is not ‘romantic love’, which can be very freeing. It’s sparkly, humble love.

There is no doubt that youth is attractive. Some of the younger guys mentioned to me that there were not as many ‘hot chicks’ as they had hoped for! Well, hey ho! Life’s like that. But same said guys also shared how beautiful it had been sharing love with older women. In fact there were many gorgeous ‘young’ spunks to delight upon, both male and female. (How many did he want?)
All caresses were given and received with timeless love. We were good students and kept tender with our learning edges. The psychology of the mass worked well with the broad spectrum of ages.

People travelled there from all over the world, though I would note it was a predominantly a white crowd.

The numbers were gender-matched, but the festival was not purely heterosexual in outlook.
Gay, lesbian, bi and Meta sexuality was vocally catered for.
I am very partial to cross-dressing men and there was a hilarious transvestite themed cabaret on the 2nd evening. Humour is also an often overlooked aspect of Tantric bliss. It was refreshing to find workshops in straightforward comedy. The cabaret show on the final evening allowed many of the talented Tantric participants to perform music, poetry and much more, and was one of the funniest evenings I have known. The piss-taking was merciless; particularly of the Tantric teachers, and the music throughout the festival was top rate.

For some, vulnerable or otherwise, consensual touching, nudity and intimacy can help progress them to a ‘better place’ about their sexual selves, precisely because there isn’t the burden of on-going relationship? (Much like the Kink scene; where overt sexual adventures have propelled me to a better place about my sexual self)… And like the kink scene, Tantric players must ask permission to engage with mutual intimacy and respect, and are taught to articulate and ‘own’ boundaries. Anger is channelled away. We had exercises to help us release all pent up negative emotions before we started to work with others.
Tantra deals openly with the ‘deep’ stuff, vulnerability. There was much gentle practice with eye gazing, sharing breath, touch, communicating and energy moving.

There were consent forms, sanctuaries, nurses, doctors, healers and I was safe. I felt safe no matter how alone I felt. All of us who had ‘wobbly’ periods were supported. We had a ‘camp family’ for the endurance of the festival and a daily structured sharing circle with them, which became an invaluable support.
The whole event was set-up with well-being as a priority and I have no criticisms to make about the structure. Experience has obviously taught them that with people unloading baggage and relating, there comes pain, breakdowns and the need for support and camaraderie.

Unfortunately for me, on the second night, I was sick. I missed most of the ‘Gender’ day. I felt very down lying in solitude in my tent, hearing the music, drums, cries and calls of my fellows over the field. They were enjoying zest and vitality, busy adoring each other and celebrating, whilst I was manifesting illness, undesirability, and possibly contagious viral, lonely, tired old stink-bag vibe in my tent.
Nature comforted me; It became a prolonged Zen meditation, watching the raindrops on my roof/canvas, listening to the birds and insects in the hedgerow. (Probably flies and vultures after me I thought for a while.) I rested. It was a time a time when I felt like running away and not being there at all.

Though I loathe the idea that, ‘we are where we are and get what we need’, good did come of it. A series of encounters with superbly caring people nurtured me through a process of accepting myself as lovable when unwell. It raised some shame issues that I was able to salve in a very healing (pod of 4) guided experience on the ‘deepening’ day. That 2+half hours post sickness lifted years of self-loathing.
My camp family, the AUM meditation, Biodanza and naked disco dealt with the rest. The hysterical laughing, the sauna, the snogging in the love-tent and hours of bliss with my special horny Tantric boy, capped it all off to be one of my favourite days ever.

There was so much packed into every day that each one felt like a lifetime. There was crying and screaming en mass which at times was too much for me. I made some special friends whom I still love hugely. We ate delicious vegetarian food, had endless tea, a cafe for chocolate cake, free phone charging, rest times, a beautiful garden and orchard to walk in, bonfires, lounges, sunshine, psychic haircuts, henna tattooing, yoga, massage, enough showers, a sauna and varied entertainment.

In the end we all wore the rose tinted spectacles of love. There was so much humility and trust and fun. We said ‘I love you, I need you’. It was restorative. It took effort. Every soul I spoke to had confronted painful, repressed issues and overcome some hurdles in relating, both with themselves and others.
There were couples there who rekindled joy in their relationships by opening to their separateness and coming together stronger in love. People fell into universal love and came away poly-amorous. I did.

I am a bigger Tantric fan than I ever was.
Although I still criticise various trite opinions of some of the teachers at times, and continue to be sceptical in general, a week after my return, I am still feeling utterly amazing and very much in-touch with lust and the beauty of life. It’s a shame we can’t all float around sublimely, indefinitely, but if so, there wouldn’t be the excuse to go back to Osho Leela and go through the grinder again, so to speak.