What dimensions can I access with ceremonial cacao? Will I have always the same experience? How would I feel when dancing? What about meditation? Would it be deeper and more real? And Sex? Boundaries? How much can I actually drink?
I wanted to find answers to these and other questions during our weekend of explorations. Faerie & I decided to dedicate a long weekend to Lady Cacao as preparation for the retreat we’re going to lead in the Czech Republic in November. We committed to drink a maximum recommended dose of cacao and see what happens. This article is about my findings from the weekend.
Drawing Lady Cacao
I wanted to give Her a face: to express Her beauty, depth, sensuality and power. I did many drafts and even this one is not quite perfect for me. Like with anything, actually. My strong desire for perfectionism is one of the big findings of the weekend and also one of the biggest obstacles I have on my journey. This obsession might be a reason for the personal crises I’ve faced over the last couple of years.
What else can we do with cacao? and Yes, we do love rituals
Clean up, good food, candles and cacao. Every day had a similar shape. We decided to write down a list of activities and silly suggestions which would be suitable and welcomed during the weekend. We put them in an envelope and let ourselves be led by Lady Cacao and Her choice of what’s right to do in that moment. So we had a Sunday afternoon walk in Camden Market in our onesies, breakfast in bed, listening to music, a bath with rose petals, watching films about teenage difficulties, cuddles, making love. We did talk about deep stuff, issues which are present in our relationship, about love, letting go, giving up and also had more cacao and even more cacao.
We faced a couple of wounds from our childhood, teenage times and also very recent injuries, which we caused each other during our 20 months together. Our recent handfasting helped us to see what commitment means to us and, with the help of Lady Cacao (a very healing plant) we started to heal some emotional damage with patience, love and care. While holding each other we let go some of our fears of abandonment, giving up control, loneliness and helplessness. We forgave each other and we forgave ourselves.
It was moving, touching and incredible.
Our intention was to spend a weekend dedicated to Lady Cacao, to connect and find the trust and love between us. We got a beautiful opportunity to look at the real reasons for our difficulties, some of which were surprising. Faerie showed me he does not give up and he’s going to fight until the end; that I don’t need to be afraid of being wrong and that the perfectionism can be destructive for me. If I want to achieve something, I need to do it for myself: not for my parents, or for my partner.
What is your topic?
There is an invitation for you to go inside and have look in a safe space with the support of the loving and healing Lady Cacao. She strokes where there’s pain, pushes where there’s an obstacle and turns the volume up where it’s a time to celebrate.
I can’t wait to be there with you!
More info about the retreat and registration here: